 PEOPLE VS. 2004 LINCOLN LS: Charged with impersonating a Jaguar. Judge Bob carefully reviewed the facts in this controversial case and concludes that the Lincoln LS really is a rebadged Jaguar - but that is a very good thing, worthy of praise from the court. The LS doesn't carry quite the prestige of a badged Jaguar, but it likely can be purchased cheaper, especially at year-end closeout sales. It is a superb luxury sedan, with a 3.9-liter V6 and five-speed automatic transmission. In the climate where Judge Bob presides, seats that both heat and cool are most welcome. These were part of extensive options that took the defendant LS from a base price of $39,575 to a final sticker price of $50,980. The court rules fraud charges are not supported and wishes the LS a successful future.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 FORD HARLEY-DAVIDSON F-250 4X4 CREW CAB PICKUP: The court received several shocks when considering this pickup truck. (1) The sheer bulk of the thing; (2) the striking two-tone orange-and-black paint scheme; and (3) the $48,045 final sticker price. The Harley-Davidson F-250 was charged with being a public nuisance, exhibitionism and extortion. To the first charge, the court finds defendant 2004 Ford Harley-Davidson F-250 guilty. This truck is so big that it has no reason to come off the farm, except to tow thoroughbred horses or a prize collection of a dozen antique Harleys. Its exhibitionism must be accepted and does not violate state statutes, but might be considered an affront to good taste by many. As for extortion, the final price tag is exorbitant, inflated from a $35,920 base price for an F-250 by the addition of the special options that make this a Harley-Davidson model. It's a very impressive list and the court concludes they offer a fair return on the dollar. The 6.0-liter diesel and five-speed automatic transmission could combine to tow Judge Bob's courthouse off its foundation. Bravo. Power to the people. If you need it, buy it. If you don't need it, consider the super F-150 Harley-Davidson model.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 JAGUAR VANDEN PLAS: After a detailed examination of crime scene photographs, Judge Bob finds that someone indeed has stolen the signature drop-down tables that were found behind the front seats of a Jaguar Vanden Plas. These birds-eye maple tables - built into the backs of the front seats - afforded rear seat passengers a place to properly position their Grey Poupon and Starbucks cappucino. Without them, the Vanden Plas seems just another extremely comfortable $71,195 luxury car. Its interior is as beautiful as it gets in autodom, with the singular exception of the absent tables. Its 294 horsepower and six-speed automatic transmission allows this cat to scat with the best of them. It handling and safety features are first-rate. And its Xenon headlights are the final touch at night. But the court is left with this singular question: Where does one put the folded copy of the Wall Street Journal and the morning java, lacking a drop-down table, while being driven to corporate headquarters? Are we to spill something on these leather seats? The court orders Jaguar to return the tables in the next model and places the 2004 Jaguar Vanden Plas on one-year probation.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 MERCURY GRAND MARQUIS: Juries of our peers are constantly seeking the answer to the question: What do the people want? In the case of the Mercury Grand Marquis, the answer is clear. The people want a roomy, reasonably priced, front-engine, rear-wheel drive V8 sedan with room for four sets of golf clubs in a humungous trunk. And, by God, this car delivers. It does it so well that in this court's jurisdiction it is the one vehicle that truthfully can be said to outsell ALL OTHERS. And it does. The Grand Marquis before the court had a base sticker price of $28,870 and a smattering of options that brought the final total to $30,685. That seems a fair figure to many successfully retired folks. Those who have been slightly more successful buy the Lincoln Town Car. These are the choices of the Early Bird Set, the ones who drive the speed limit in the right lane. And they don't have many vehicle choices at this size and price. Wonderfully comfortable, the Grand Marquis isolates those inside so they neither have to see the finger nor hear the curses aimed their way by those screaming by in Fast and Furious wheels sporting coffee-can exhausts. Judge Bob hopes he lives long enough to actually want one of these some day, when driving is not primarily fun but transportation for driver and friends.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 MERCEDES-BENZ CLK CABRIOLET: Why is this car in this court? This court would like to be in this car. Is there a more beautiful cabriolet configuration on sale? Judge Bob can think of none. This is drop-dead gorgeous. All CLK models are, but the convertible is particularly attractive. Unfortunately, Judge Bob would have to return to private practice bringing class-action lawsuits against tobacco companies in order to afford the $62,650 price tag. But that money does buy a lot: 302 horsepower from a willing V8, a five-speed automatic transmission with touch shift option, 17-inch AMG wheels and high-performance tires that beg a trip to traffic court, and a plethora of safety features including roll bars that will pop up and spring the reigning homecoming queen into orbit if she's sitting atop one at the wrong time. If you can think of a convenience feature, chances are good the CLK Cabriolet has it. Judge Bob finds the 2004 Mercedes-Benz CLK Cabriolet guilty only of being attractive but beyond reach, like the starlet who exits the stage door as you leave by the front one and hail a taxi with a puke smell in the rear seat area. You want that starlet? You need that Cabriolet. It will speak well of your genes. Women like good genes.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 SUZUKI FORENZA LX: The good looking 2004 Suzuki Forenza clearly aspires to be the "people's car" and competes in a crowded field that includes the Toyota Corolla and Honda Civic. The court wishes Suzuki well, but sees no overriding reason to favor an unproven candidate over those with long-standing quality reputations. The court acknowledges decent fuel efficiency of 22/30 from a tiny 2.0-liter four-cylinder producing 126 horsepower, but notes that the engine had a periodic skip while trying to maintain a steady speed. In reverse, the drivetrain made a whine we used to hear more than today. The Forenza's price, Judge Bob agrees, is fair at $14,399 and standard features include air conditioning, cruise control, a CD/cassette/radio system, remote keyless entry, power windows, a sunroof, fog lamps and even a remote trunk release. It's nice to see needed items such as these made standard, not expensive add-on "options" as some automakers offer to keep the initial sticker price low. That's deception and the court abhors it! Also in the Forenza's favor is a 7-year, 100,000-mile transferable warranty, which speaks well of Suzuki's faith in the car's longevity. Judge Bob strongly suggests test driving this car before deciding to buy. Test it several times, in fact. It promises a great deal, but you must be the judge of whether it represents quality construction and value.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 INFINITI G35 AWD: If there's a better looking sedan and coupe available than the Infiniti G35, Judge Bob has yet to have it appear before this court.  | EXHIBIT A: Infiniti G35 AWD
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The coupe is decidedly the better looking, but the sedan excels in four-door practically and thus suits more buyers. At $35,160 as tested, the G35 AWD Leather reaches for what is called the near-luxury category. It has a 3.5-liter V6 that produces a stout 260 horsepower at 4,800 rpm. This is coupled to a five-speed automatic transmission and the car has traction control and a snow mode, as well. Since this G35 is all-wheel drive, it is not guilty of torque steer under full-bore acceleration. It delivers a comfortable ride, while providing enough handling capability to be fun. Safety is addressed by anti-lock brakes with electronic force distribution, vehicle dynamic control to help prevent skidding while turning, front air bags, side air bags and a head curtain. A premium option package on the tester provided a 200-watt Bose audio system, sunroof, reclining rear seats, one-touch up/down windows and more. It all added up to an extremely pleasant driving experience and the G35 AWD Leather gets the court's full approval for value at this price point.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 DODGE DURANGO LIMITED HEMI: Judge Bob admits the commercials for this are cute. The little boy who says "Hemi" is darling. More so than the vehicle, unfortunately. The Durango on trial here had the 5.7-liter Hemi V8, which gets its name from the shape of its combustion chamber, and it certainly has more than adequate get up and go for a heavy sport utility. It also slapped a 14 mpg city/19 mpg highway fuel penalty on the driver. Entry and exit to the tall Durango are not for the mobility challenged, that's for sure. It's a tall climb up and fall out. Once inside, the Durango is reasonably comfortable, having lost most of its truck-like characteristics. The sticker price was a stunning $38,650, however, taking some of the glow off the infatuation. Much that is desirable is available only as an extra-cost option. That includes traction control, a third-row split seat, a sunroof and fancy wheels. The vehicle on trial here also had a $1,200 rear seat video system for the kiddies. For this judge, the Durango still hasn't got it right. It's just too big, too much for most usages. Unless you need the towing power, save the world some petroleum and yourself some cash by looking elsewhere.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 NISSAN MURANO SL 2WD: Nissan bills the good-looking Murano as "the urban SUV" - and it's an apt description. You people insist on buying truck-like sport utilities when you need almost none of their capabilities. What you really should buy is a smaller, equally practical vehicle. (Slam of gavel for emphasis!) That said, the Murano stands above everything else this size and price. Its only rival for quality and comfort is the more expensive Lexus RX330. Day after day, the court was impressed with the comfort and convenience of the Murano. Its 245-horsepower V6 returned 20 city and 25 highway and provided lots of acceleration from a standstill. The continuously variable transmission works like a miracle, keeping rpm's up as the car accelerates and never intruding with the feel of an upshift. This is the best transmission on the market. Period. (Another gavel slam!) The Murano on trial was beautiful outside and in, filled with comfort and convenience features. Options that made it even better included a $1,720 DVD based video system for rear seat passengers, and a $3,500 "leather" package that added a sunroof, 225-watt audio system, adjustable pedals and a power seat. An XM Satellite radio was a $400 option, as well. A buyer can live without some of these and the Murano can be had for a base price of $28,200. Judge Bob judges it an exceptional vehicle, tops of its kind.
PEOPLE VS. 2004 SUZUKI VERONA EX TC: Let's face it: When you get spoiled driving Jaguars and Mercedes-Benz cars, it's an adjustment when the delivery person says you have a Suzuki Verona this week. A what? A Verona. What's that? It's an under-$20,000 mid-size car from Suzuki, that's what. And it proved surprisingly good over the next seven days. It looks good, delivers 20 to 28 mpg, rides without roughness and comes with numerous quality conveniences that add cost to similar cars from other manufacturers. Under its hood is a 2.5-liter inline-6 that makes 155 horsepower. It's connected to a four-speed automatic transmission. Nothing fancy about any of this. Real basic. There's ABS, but Suzuki doesn't note any other safety feature. Air conditioning, leather seats with the driver's seat powered and heated, cruise control and an audio system are all standard. So is remote keyless entry, power windows and mirrors, fog lamps and a sunroof. Not bad for the price. Suzuki knows it's an uphill battle to catch sales of Honda, Toyota, Ford or Chevrolet in this size car. So to back up its faith in the quality of the Verona, Suzuki is offering an exceptional 7 year/100,000-mile warranty that is transferable. Oh yes ... and it comes with a full tank of gas. All for $19,999. You've got to applaud the chutzpah of that warranty. And the Verona certainly feels as good as the competition... But Judge Bob wonders: Did Suzuki plan this moniker to pronounce EX TC as "ecstasy"?
PEOPLE VS. 2004 VW PASSAT GLS TDI wagon: The press is enamored with hybrids. Judge Bob admits he, too, is excited about the prospect of better fuel mileage that hybrids bring to market. The next year or two will see all manner of new hybrids, including a truck that can only be called a joke with its mileage no better than a four-cylinder gas engine. But real mileage improvements can be yours if you'll take a look at the new generation of diesel engines powering cars and trucks. Case in point: the Passat TDI station wagon. Now here's a practical, comfortable, car-like people hauler that returns 27 miles per gallon in town and 38 on the highway. It does it thanks to a four-cylinder turbo diesel engine under the hood. And not much is compromised to achieve this fuel efficiency. The engine is noiser, yes, but not nerve-wracking. There's no black smoke, though, no underpowered feeling when leaving stoplights. It performs very much like any gasoline-powered car. Safety features are exceptional in the Passat, as are comfort and convenience features. The base price of the TDI model on trial here is $24,585 and leather seats and an automatic transmission brought the final sticker price to $28,315. You can find listings of its many features elsewhere, so suffice it to say that if you're in the market for a really fuel-efficient car, take a look at Volkswagen's new diesel-engined entries, This Passat is in every way a fine family vehicle - that just happens to return great fuel efficiency on a fuel that is 20 cents a gallon cheaper than "cheap" regular gas. Highly recommended by Judge Bob.
PEOPLE VS. 2005 MERCEDES-BENZ E320 CDI: Let's stay with diesels now, and look at perhaps the ultimate diesel car - the 2005 Mercedes-Benz E320 CDI model. The E series is the middle of the Mercedes line, the car many consider the best "compromise" in the Mercedes lineup. What M-B has done for 2005 is take the extraordinary E320 car and drop a 3.2-liter, turbocharged inline-6 diesel engine under the hood. The result? A 201-horsepower chariot that rides five in supreme comfort while returning 27 mpg in the city and 37 on the highway. All on the cheapest fuel this side of restaurant grease. The E320 CDI has enormous grunt from a start, with 369 foot-pounds of torque launching the car. Yet it's all so smooth, with a five-speed automatic transmission adapting to the driver's foot. The standard audio system is very good, but the car on trial had a $970 entertainment system option, with premium sound. Other options that brought the $49,075 base price to $53,385 included special paint, a sunroof and heated front seats. Judge Bob could do without all of those, so $50,000 is the price of fuel-efficient luxury. A buyer gets all the Mercedes-Benz safety features in the E320 and a plethora of computer-assisted features. Dollar for dollar, this is as good as it gets. There is no feeling of sacrifice as the E320 CDI settles down to cruising speed on the interstate, loafing along and returning 37 mpg. Judge Bob does note that some states just don't like diesel engines and the E320 CDI can't be sold in California, Maryland, Maine, New York and Vermont.
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 Home, James
© 2004, Robert C. Bowden
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