The Car Judge: By Robert Bowden
VIDEO LIBRARY

NOTE: Video on this page is in QuickTime format. Some files are quite large and may not download at sufficient speed for dial-up connections. Most demand some initial waiting period. These are not repurposed television clips, as is usually the case at other Web sites. The fact is, TV doesn't play well on the Internet. The Net requires a special kind of video approach, just as it favors a unique writing style. Since 1999, I have been attempting to find and define a video style suited to the Internet. with its unique demands on file size, quality compromises and short attention spans. Now, for the first time, I'm posting some of my favorite video clips here. Some are traditional "standup" narrations; some are offbeat, a kind of CarMTV. Each will open in a new window and play automatically. Close the window to return to this screen. Alas, these were done in my "unemployed" period. That no longer is the case and I no longer have a week to shoot and edit video. I hope these speak for themselves of the effort devoted to their creation. They are the primary reason that The Car Place was named a Forbes Best of the Web site for 2002.


The FORD BULLITT EDITION MUSTANG is possibly my favorite video to date. Anyone who has seen the Steve McQueen movie will recognize duplication of camera placement, a similar wardrobe, etc. Ford provided exterior shots of the Bullitt Mustang; I shot new material to edit into a new composition. All audio was done separately. The Ford footage was silent, to begin with. Exhaust sounds are real; everything else is a sound effect.

FORD THUNDERBIRD. It's certainly politically incorrect, this video called "Amish Test Driver." But the T-Bird is so irresistible that anyone would be tempted to test it out, as you'll see.

The hulking HUMMER inspired video efforts over several days. Yes, I run over the camera twice. And -- I swear -- this is based on what truly happened to me during test week. If the music track plays jerkiliy at first, halt the progress and play the entire video when download is complete.

A shaking, quivering CHRYSLER PROWLER begged to be videotaped where "no man has gone before." And so, tiny lipstick cameras were attached to every imaginable position outside the hot rod. But this car shakes all the time and much of the resulting footage I deemed too poor to use. Still, there's a lot here. Ride along. Warning: Big file; waiting likely.

When I think of crusin', I think of nighttime. And that's when I turned cameras on the CHRYSLER PT CRUISER, cruising through a shopping center.

Videos can sometimes show better than anyone can tell. Certainly that's the case with the dangerous power passenger doors on GM minivans. The discovery was by accident and I was so shaken that I had to stop taping for awhile. I repeated the test with numerous objects -- baseball bat, crowbar, tree branch -- all with the same potentially deadly result. The first video was of the CHEVROLET VENTURE. When a next-model-year OLDSMOBILE SILHOUETTE minivan came around for testing, I again tried the power door, with the same results. So you just knew that when a DODGE GRAND CARAVAN was sent, it would get the same test of Chrysler's power passenger door. This door reversed when it encountered the object. This is as it should be, for safety's sake.

Before video, I had to explain GM's "Killer Bounceback Doors." But video allows me to show you the door of a CHEVROLET CAVALIER. These are not just problems for low-cost GM models; the won't-stay-open doors plague vehicles across the company line.

In fact, by the time I got around to testing a CHEVROLET MONTE CARLO, I was an old hand at warning of the doors -- many bruised appendages later. Course, I found another problem in the rear of the Monte Carlo.

Sometimes, demonstrated flaws are corrected. You bet Subaru paid attention to this video of the sunvisor on its SUBARU LEGACY OUTBACK. In the next year, this was no longer a problem.

Let's have some fun again. I have two favorite trucks -- the Ford Lightning and Harley-Davidson Ford F-150. The HARLEY-DAVIDSON FORD F-150 was a hoot to drive and be seen in. The FORD LIGHTNING is even more thrilling to drive, with its loud supercharger easily heard in this video.

Speaking of fun .. some videos are just for fun. Like this of an INFINITI I-30. Or this one of the JAGUAR S-TYPE origin and inspiration. Also had some fun with the grab handles on the doors of a TOYOTA MR-2.

Video can make a point crystal clear, as in this case explaining pedestrian-friendly front end design. In the driveway was a Volvo and a Cadillac Escalade. An ideal comparison between good, bad and ugly.

Every once in awhile, some member of a supporting cast of guest characters shows up. Animatronic Bob sums up a vehicle. Another animatronic agent reports from behind the driver, checking in as Back Seat Buddy. A crash test dummy named Slick makes frequent appearances, reporting on safety features. Actions speak louder than words when MuteBob is interviewed. CartoonBob sums up vehicles. There's also an old geezer called Papa Carmudgeon, who shows rather than tells of vehicle problems.

Enough explanation. You're on your own from here on:

PONTIAC AZTEK (3 video clips): (1) CAN YOU IMAGINE?; (2) A FROG LOOKS GREAT - INSIDE; (3) ROCKIN' CARGO BAY

CADILLAC DEVILLE DTS (2 video clips): (1) NIGHT VISION or SLIGHT VISION?; (2) AN ULTRASONIC FAILURE

INFINITI Q45 (3 video clips): (1) VIDEO TAKES YOU BACK; (2) RECLINING REAR SEATS; (3) VOICE COMMAND BUFFY (slides and audio)

FORD EXPLORER: AN ORIGINAL HOME MOVIE. Ford sent videotape of its new Explorer. I edited the tape and put together a "home movie", making up the story as I went. The scratches, dust spots and lousy sound are on purpose!

DODGE GRAND CARAVAN (3 video clips): (1) VEHICLE SUMMARY; (2) TAILGATE DOOR BUMPS HEAD; (3) TAILGATE DOOR BUMPS BODY

VW EUROVAN (4 video clips): (1) ROCK 'N' RIDE; (2) POPPING THE TOP; (3) BUILT-IN REFRIGERATOR; (4) FOND MEMORIES. This unique-among-minivans was a family favorite.

AUDI A6: A DRIVE IN THE COUNTRY

CADILLAC ESCALADE: LIKE A BAD COMMUTER FLIGHT

FORD ESCAPE: FANTASIES OF ESCAPE

LINCOLN BLACKWOOD (2 video clips): (1) DEMONSTRATING THE POWER TONNEAU COVER; (2) LOCKED IN THE COVERED BAY

LEXUS LS430 (3 video clips): (1) HIGHLIGHTING FEATURES; (2) ESCAPING A LOCKED SHUT TRUNK; (3) AUTOMATIC WINDSHIELD WIPERS

DODGE INTREPID, MOTORSPORT EDITION: DODGE RETURNS TO NASCAR AND CELEBRATES WITH SPECIAL EDITIONS

FORD MUSTANG (2 video clips): (1) SUNNY DAY RIDE; (2) LOWERING THE TOP AND 0-TO-60

JAGUAR S-TYPE: TALK ABOUT HAVING IT ALL

VW PASSAT: A FINE FAMLY SEDAN

INFINITI QX4: REALLY RIDE AROUND IN THIS VIDEO

TOYOTA SEQUOIA: LOOK AT THE ROOM IN THIS THING

CHEVROLET SUBURBAN: AND THIS ONE IS BIGGER THAN HUGE -- IT'S TITANIC

DODGE STRATUS R/T (2 video clips): (1) TIME LAPSE HINTS AT TROUBLE; (2) AND THIS DEMONSTRATES LACK OF QUALITY CONSTRUCTION

SUZUKI GRAND VITARA: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THINGS

TOYOTA PRIUS (3 video clips): (1) THIS BIT OF TRICKERY PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP; (2) YES, YOU CAN LIVE (HAPPILY) WITH A PRIUS; (3) TAKE A LOOK UNDER THE HOOD - AT TWO MOTORS



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